One of the hardest things I have found as a mum is having no emotional support from family. My husband and friends are amazing, but due to not knowing if I am in the right or wrong I questioning myself so much. This means they have to deal with me talking to them about the same things over and over again. They don’t realise how much I cannot understand why my family don’t show the same emotional support to me as they do others.
The reason I am putting this up is their response to a post the other day, that I placed up about Bella. No one was there for me, the people that popped in only did because they were at the hospital. Unlike others in the family no one made a special trip for her, no one asked how she was. She was in hospital with Herpes which has killed thousands of children up and down the UK, yet no one was there.
I support them all, asking them how are their children, making sure they are emotionally ok. Going to see them in hospital if I can, even at times making the trip just for them. Arguments in between Anth and myself as they don’t show our family the same consideration. But I hope the more I do I will finally get their love back. NOPE!
This is where I feel social media is the worst thing ever invented, because you can watch other people’s activity. Watching me interact with them, but never getting interaction back. Watching them support each other whilst I’m dying inside, watching them slag me off for things that I couldn’t control. Watching them call me a horrible child and that I have always been loud and annoying.
As I write this I am sobbing but it needs to be put out there, as I have started to network the realisation I am not alone with being shunned in this manner. None of them will know how lonely it is, none of them will know how desperate you are for them to love you. None of them will know how much you question what you did in a past life to deserve to be so hated by them. None of them will not realise that money means nothing compare to the time they asked are you ok? None of them know how no one can replace the one holding your hands during the tough times.
This blog is not going to go down well, but it needed to be said. Especially when you called the stupid one for not knowing your own child’s care by people that didn’t even ask if she was ok. For me blogging is my way of getting my feelings out and these needed to get out.
For any mum feeling this message me, I will be here to listen.