Stood in the shop and a child is kicking off, adult is giving in to what the child requires. Eyes are rolling, “Well their making a rod for their own back” comments have started. The adult just wanting to hide in a hole, thinking why is my child always like this. There is always reasons for a child kicking off, if you check out my easier to blame the parent blog you will understand. This blog contradicts that one by the ever so slightly, but I am hoping to help parents see that a child isn’t a spoilt brat for no reason.
When I was little all I heard was, “what an awful child she is?”, “someone needs to give that child a slap”, “if that child was mine” and the most hurtful “will you just shut up for 10 minutes”. When you watch our YouTube channel you will see we have turned these terms into a less hurtful term. This is to ensure our girls don’t get offended by certain tones, but they know the tone when to actually stop.
When growing up we were giving holidays, clothes and days out, yet for us to get this family had to help to bring us up. My grandparents would work most days, only getting holiday or christmas time off. Then they would work shifts so as I got older their maybe weeks that I barely saw them especially, when they worked 2-10pm as I would see them for only half hour in the morning and that was it. My mum I would only see at weekends or school holidays and the rest of my time was spent with my uncle and auntie. So yes I had everything apart from someone to listen and my emotional needs would be put to a side and replaced with money.
I’m grateful for everything I got, but it was hard and has left a lot of effects by being classed as the spoilt brat, when all I wanted was someone to listen to me. There was a lot that confused me as growing up, being caught drinking in school and no one seemed to care. The acting out then got worse, caught fighting on many occasions, no one seemed to be bothered. Stopped eating food and wanting to be slimmer, a teacher finally realised I needed support and it was amazing.
I wish I could say that I have never made these mistakes sadly I can’t. Jasmin is my one that is taking after me, I try to listen to her as well as I can and that is key. She is the one that holds her heart on her sleeve and she gets this ripped often. For me to see any of our girls in pain is hard, as all I want them to do is have a better mental health life than I have. Saving them from many harms that I have had, there is still the fear of will they have any of it. Unlike some we will not lock them away and allow them to have as much fun as they can. Even now at Jennifer’s age we allow her to fly with friends, Jasmin will go around town with friends and Bella, well she never wants to leave me. No parent is perfect but my advice to anyone is put your child’s emotional needs before their financial needs.