As I slowly build Crazy Carneys a similar voice that has stopped me building businesses before come in. “See I told you just to give up” as I put done my last phone call for my cleaning company. “Well your products aren’t very good” so I closed my shop of handmade items. “You’re not earning enough” so I place down my camera for one last time.
Now I’m building a business that for someone like me who knows anybody and everybody should be easy. Oh, than I realise this maybe true but I lack the a lot of things the main one, I’m not special or unique enough.
Who wants to hear about how amazing my children are, there’s other people’s children to notice. Why do they want the knowledge of homeschooling, they already know schools best. What story is this now, just Amy being attention seeker again.
I hate feeling this way and followed loads on Facebook so it stopped, but now I’m following them again it’s back. The feeling I’m never good enough, the feeling what did I do wrong. How bad was I in a past life!
Then I come upstairs after being sat editing a vlog for 6 hours. I see Anth cuddling bella, I hear Jennifer and Jasmin breathing deeply. Stopped in my tracks and realise I did something right, I got a sweet kind loving husband who gave me 3 of the most beautiful angels in the world.
Remembering the joy an old video of Bella gave the whole family today. I sigh and think why did I allow myself to feel like this.
I lay in bed and go through the comments from our CrazyFam and realise people do believe in me. They want to know our beautiful family, there is one of my friends and another. With this the reminder that I have amazing friends and the sadness starts to lift.
Now in left just feeling daft, but at the same time loved. Thank you for being the reason I haven’t given up.